Reflection:

With our partner, we need to negotiate a degree of closeness that is comfortable for both of us, and then stick pretty consistently to it. This doesn't mean 'working hard at' the relationship (a relationship should never be an ongoing struggle, unless ongoing-struggles are what love is all about for you), but it does mean paying attention at all times, and nipping problems in the bud. That way, you don't need to have a 'perfect partner': averagely well-matched couples can have a great life together