How to write a book on relationships - and lose your own! (that's what my partner says!) Not really - but the process provided graphic illustration of how necessary it is to reserve energy for your at-home relationships. Never, at any point, can we take a sexual partnership for granted for very long. Writing the book has certainly helped me be 'smarter' about love (as one of the top American academics put it). I now understand which areas for similarity are important, and which don't matter at all; and how in our relationship we should never go through a process of 'boom and bust' - that is, investing lots of time and attention in it at one stage and then, at another time, leaving it to take care of itself.
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